Friday, September 24, 2010

The act of being small.

This is absolutely amazing.
In the summer time, and still on clear nights, I like to go and lay out in the middle of my street. My polaroid-picture, quiet street, where you can only very faintly hear the sound of cars passing occasionally a few streets away. You can see so many stars from there. With my back pressed against the ground and the soft air surrounding me, it's hard not to feel so absolutely connected to all of these great things - the air, the trees, the Earth beneath me. The insects, the animal kingdom as a whole. Humanity. The oceans, the mountains, the grand cities that would swallow me completely. The stars painted against the navy blue canvas above me It's all interconnected - moving and dancing around each other in perfect balance and rhythm.
With that realization comes the knowledge of how tiny, how insignificant I truly am. These stars, these planets, these beings that would completely dwarf my solar system look like in the sky. Like I could collect them all and put them on strings like Christmas lights, or gather them in a jar and hand them out to the people I love almost like fireflies. If they look that small to me, I am nonexistent to them. I am a speck on a speck on a speck on a speck. I am irrelevant. I am meaningless. But I am here.
That is absolutely freeing, I think. Our actions, good or bad, do not matter. They are a speck on the flow and stream of time, and more often than not they do not effect the Universe as a whole. We are a small mass amongst millions of other small masses. We can be angry, resentful, cry and yell and scream. We can put others below us and bring them down. We can put others above us and bring ourselves down. We can stress about the unpleasant, about the chaotic and about the sickness that is Humanity sometimes. We can fall into depression, into anger, into anxiety, into negativity as a whole - but it doesn't change anything in the world besides us and our perceptions. It only effects a small, small fraction of everything in existence - a fraction small enough to be nearly invisible. It doesn't matter. Our unhappiness does not matter. It does not effect anybody. We can feel it as we need to, grow from it and learn from it, and then we can let it go and it is completely irrelevant from that point forward.
Happiness - pure joy, pure positivity - is a different story. It starts with one fraction of a fraction of a fraction. It starts with you. Happiness, positivity, joy, awe of the world and the Universe in general, it's contagious. If you spread your happiness to somebody else, they will spread that onto somebody else and it'll continue. It still might be a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the grand scheme of things, but it's positive and it's beautiful and it's wonderful. It's bringing something large and bigger than you into existence and sharing it with the world. It's making the world, the environment, the Universe a better place in the simplest way possible. Spreading positivity. Choosing in that moment to try to be better than you are, to be better for yourself, for others and for the environment. And honestly, it's as simple as looking at your life and being thankful that you are here, you are living and you are experiencing the beauty of the world around you.
And it's beautiful.

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